I think it's fair to say that relationships can be puzzling, elaborate, and even problematic at times. They certainly aren't black and white, cut and dry. But that's what makes them exciting because nothing worth anything is ever easy. I'm convinced theres a reason the strong move slow.
But it's not only complicated off the starting blocks. Relationships begin to require something - but not just anything, not just the leftovers. To love requires self abandonment, transparency, susceptibility, vulnerability, etc. and sometimes vulnerability is really tough because it means that your risking getting hurt.
But without accessibility, connection is impossible. without honesty, intimacy is impossible, without risking being hurt, love is impossible.
So, welcome vulnerability with open arms and love like you'll never see me again.
KL
Switching It Up
15 years ago
1 comment:
Hey Kyle,
I’ve spent some time reading through your posts. First off, I must say that though I like the picture on the Eli post, and I’m all about slaying Goliath, I can’t go with you on this one. Mostly because I am still mourning for Brett. I’ve had this little crush on him ever since college. I really had my hopes set that this was going to be his year.
On to deeper subjects—“but without accessibility, connection is impossible. without dependence, intimacy is impossible. without risking being hurt, love is impossible. a smart man once told me that the only thing worse than a broken heart is an isolated one.”
This statement is loaded with truth and depth. Did you write that? It’s good. I would add this—you must have a willingness to trust. You can’t have intimacy where there is not trust, or at least the willingness to rebuild trust. I think that is what it means in I Cor. 13 when it says love always trusts, always hopes. It’s a willingness to continue to extend to someone the opportunity to gain or regain your trust. And I think you’re right about isolation, it worse than being broken— but sometimes we are so deeply hurt that we need healing in intimacy with God before we can open up again on a human level. And I think that is ok. Because all love that is truly love finds its source in Him.
And when you say--“love like you’ve never been hurt”--though I understand that you mean not to shut down, and not to be afraid, I think maybe there is something better. Love like you have been hurt, and that you have sat long enough in the pain to learn from it, to grow from it, to be changed by it. To grow past the pain to grace. Here’s the thing--Jesus never hid his pain from us. He wanted us to understand how much He hurt so that we could understand how much He loved us, how much grace was in Him toward us. So love like you have been hurt more than you thought you could possibly bear, and that love is so damn important that you’d bear it all again.
Blessings,
Becky
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