Sometimes ya just gotta take a break from the journey and just sit back and laugh your ass off.
Dwight: "The purse girl hits everything on my checklist: creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not for me...for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies."
Michael: "I live by one rule: No office romances, no way. Very messy, inappropriate...no. But, I live by another rule: Just do it... Nike."
Pam: "If I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally not true and I do not agree with, you would maybe not be a very good driver."
Dwight: "Oh man! Am I a woman?"
Jim: "I definitely overhear some wedding preparation, but, I’m fine with it. She hears me arranging my social life. And we both have to hear Dwight order deer urine over the internet, so it evens out."
Michael: "Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and... I have a great one! 'Little Kid Lover'. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at."
Michael: "I am a victim of a hate crime. I think Stanley knows what I’m talking about.
Stanley: "That's not what a hate crime is."
Michael Scott: "Well I hated it! A lot!"
Michael: "Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family."
Jim: "Does that include 'that's what she said'?"
Michael: "Mmhh, yes."
Jim: "Wow that is really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling."
Michael: "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"
Dwight: "Due to a recent incident involving Phyllis, a man, a map, and his penis, I think you know what I'm referring to, Michael has authorized me to form an emergency anti-flashing task force."
Jim: "Question. Won't that interfere with your other task forces?"
Dwight: "Answer: No. Because this is being given priority one. This is a petition to upgrade the security cameras, as well as install two floodlights in the parking lot. And I know what you're thinking. Won't that just shed more light on the penises. But that is a risk we have to take."
Michael: "Bros before hos. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have your back, after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho. And you told her she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then suddenly she's not your ho no mo."
Michael: "My worst birthday? When I was seven, my mother hired a pony to come to my house for all the kids. And I got a really bad rash. From the pony. And all the kids got to ride the pony. And I had to go inside, and my mother was rubbing cream on me, for probably three hours, and I never came outside. And by the time I got out, the pony was already in the truck and around the corner. So that was my worst birthday."
Laughter is an instant vacation. KL.
Dwight: "The purse girl hits everything on my checklist: creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not for me...for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies."
Michael: "I live by one rule: No office romances, no way. Very messy, inappropriate...no. But, I live by another rule: Just do it... Nike."
Pam: "If I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally not true and I do not agree with, you would maybe not be a very good driver."
Dwight: "Oh man! Am I a woman?"
Jim: "I definitely overhear some wedding preparation, but, I’m fine with it. She hears me arranging my social life. And we both have to hear Dwight order deer urine over the internet, so it evens out."
Michael: "Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and... I have a great one! 'Little Kid Lover'. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at."
Michael: "I am a victim of a hate crime. I think Stanley knows what I’m talking about.
Stanley: "That's not what a hate crime is."
Michael Scott: "Well I hated it! A lot!"
Michael: "Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family."
Jim: "Does that include 'that's what she said'?"
Michael: "Mmhh, yes."
Jim: "Wow that is really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling."
Michael: "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"
Dwight: "Due to a recent incident involving Phyllis, a man, a map, and his penis, I think you know what I'm referring to, Michael has authorized me to form an emergency anti-flashing task force."
Jim: "Question. Won't that interfere with your other task forces?"
Dwight: "Answer: No. Because this is being given priority one. This is a petition to upgrade the security cameras, as well as install two floodlights in the parking lot. And I know what you're thinking. Won't that just shed more light on the penises. But that is a risk we have to take."
Michael: "Bros before hos. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have your back, after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho. And you told her she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then suddenly she's not your ho no mo."
Michael: "My worst birthday? When I was seven, my mother hired a pony to come to my house for all the kids. And I got a really bad rash. From the pony. And all the kids got to ride the pony. And I had to go inside, and my mother was rubbing cream on me, for probably three hours, and I never came outside. And by the time I got out, the pony was already in the truck and around the corner. So that was my worst birthday."
Laughter is an instant vacation. KL.
1 comment:
so i was catching up on your blogs and this one was great... completely made my day :)
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