If You Love Me, Won't You Let Me Know?

I've never really found it advantageous either for myself or for others to hold my cards close to my chest and expect others to read my two pair, ace high. Growing up in a home where both my brother and I were taught to tell others how we felt has allowed me to reject this notion our country has - that men are forbidden to express feelings, especially feelings of emotion, vulnerability, and love. It breaks my heart to hear someone tell me, "My dad never told me he loved me" or "My brother never hugs me"...that's about the point in the conversation where I hug them tight and tell them they are loved.

Now before I come across as being overly sentimental, I realize there's a time to show composure in a moment of weakness. I strongly believe in the man being solid emotionally. Fair enough, but I think it's gotten a little out of hand.

The typical American father spends more time working toward the promotion than teaching him about the right way to treat people (especially women). We're more concerned with buying the addition to the house than sitting down with her and asking her about herself. We care more about buying the new jet ski than instilling grace, honesty, and ultimately love.

My mom recently told me about someone she knows who has devoted his entire life to his career. He drives a sweet car, lives in a big house, and pretty much can afford any vacation he wants. However, his son once told him that he'd trade his time for his gifts anyday of the week. Interesting.

It's time to condense the post for the reader...

It all comes down to priorities.

What's important to you? What's important to your family? What if our country cared more about family than materialism? How would our families look different? How would our children look different?

I have a deep sense of hope for the future of families in America. I urge you, the reader, to stop and think about someone you love. Perhaps it's your aunt, your spouse, or your child. When's the last time you hugged them? When's the last time you told them they were beautiful? When's the last time you said "I love you"?

Don't hold back any longer. Kiss her when you leave for work and see the difference it makes when you get home. Send her flowers for no reason at all; not because it's Valentine's Day or because you screwed up. Do it without any ulterior motives or without hidden expectations of getting "play" after a glass of wine. Do it because you love her with every inch of your being and you couldn't think of a better way to spend a couple bucks. And finally, please...

Say "I love you" more often

And mean it. KL.

Go Up Against the Wall of What You Don't Know

This must be said, whether you're into them or not:

Check out Coldplay's new album "Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends". It's very different, but it will blow you're mind away. It's authentic, deep, and at some points, spiritual. 

Never be afraid to try new things. KL.

Just Because I'm Losing, Doesn't Mean I'm Lost...

I was reminded of an important lesson last night that must be shared:

Never, ever ever give up.

Ever since I could walk, I've been in love with the game of baseball. I remember falling asleep with a baseball hat on while holding my glove - and waking up feeling like a complete dork. Even to this day, there's nothing better than spending an afternoon making diving stops at short or turning double plays with a base runner bearing down on your ankles - spikes up.

I'm playing on a fast pitch softball team and even though I love being out there, we're like the 1992 Phillies. Only 2 out of 14 guys played in high school and we're majorly undersized compared to the other teams. I've never been on a team that lost more than 4 games in an entire season. Before last night, we were 2-7. It's been quite humbling.

But last night was different. We walked up to the field with a "swag" that I haven't seen all season. We were playing the biggest team in the league, the team who everyone talks about as being "unbeatable." They walked onto that field undefeated, cocky, and talented. We walked onto that field with nothing to lose.

The game was back and forth. 2-0 us, 3-2 them, 4-3 us, 5-4 them. And then the last inning came...

With one out and a runner on second, I stepped up to the plate. Now I'll be honest with you, I've struggled this season at the plate. It's been tough adjusting to the close distance, the release point, and the movement on the pitches. But I walked up to the plate and thought to myself, "Never, ever ever give up."

The first pitch was a fastball that I fouled off. The second pitch was high. 1 ball, 1 strike. I was sitting on a fastball and when I saw it, my eyes lit up and I ripped a line drive into the right-center gap. The funny thing is the guy on second is a little overweight but I've never seen someone pump his arms as fast as he did rounding 3rd base. He ended up scoring the tying run and I slid head first into third base. It felt so damn good to stand up, dust the dirt off, and begin to feel the sense that Rocco Mediate sometimes comes out on top. Two batters later, a long drive off the left field fence brought me to the plate where I was met by all my teammates...

A few lessons that I learned:

1) It doesn't matter if they don't believe in you, you must believe in you.

2) Never fear failure. It's better to try and struggle than to give up and live wondering, "What if?"

3) If you strikeout in the first inning, focus on the next at-bat. Forget the past and move on. Regret never changed what already happened.

4) Never, ever ever give up. Regardless.

I love the taste of perseverance, especially in baseball. KL.

The Beauty of June 13

Today I can't help but reflect on the last 365 days.

It's been a long year. A mixture of the worst and the best year of my life.

But I'm so thankful for June 13 because it marks the beginning of something new, something fresh, something right. If it didn't happen, I wouldn't be able to give what I can today.

But storms happen for a reason. Without a little rain, we'd never be able to fully appreciate the sunshine. Even though we may not always see the end of the downpour, we just have to keep walking until we see clear skies.

KL

Love Wins

After sweating through sound check yesterday, I had the opportunity to meet David Ryan Harris. Without trying to be the typical 16 year old fan who goes crazy when meeting a musician, I felt like that little kid inside as I contemplated what to ask this social icon. You may not have heard about him (he's huge on the west coast) but right when you hear his music, you immediately feel something deep within your soul. It's quite beautiful, really.

We talked about what touring with JM is like, the difference between the east coast and the west coast, and where he gets his material. I asked him where he finds his inspiration for his music and he said "Well, musically - Stevie Wonder, lyrically - my wife."

I want that to be my inspiration too.

Have you ever watched couples interact in public? It's actually really funny if your timing is perfect. I was in the supermarket the other day and heard a couple arguing about grape vs. strawberry jelly. The wife asked what he liked more and after he said grape, she said "But we always have grape! I want strawberry" and it was in that exact moment I knew I had to tune in. After the wife argued more for the strawberry, I heard the husband yell "I don't even like jelly!!"

As funny as it is for me to watch couples fight, something needs to change. It seems to me that couples argue about the most trivial things and they don't realize how insignificant their fights become. So stop fighting about the jelly, and the "right" way to get to your friends house (when there's really many ways), and the restaurant where you go out to eat dinner. Life's too short.

Love wins. KL.

Life is so Damn Great

Starting over has become my motivation, my inspiration, my life - and I've developed a deep sense of progression within me. It's quite refreshing to open up your hands and your heart to something (or perhaps someone) new. When you discover the method that works, all the others that didn't no longer matter.

It's so exciting to look back and see the big picture. To see the reason why it all happened and to believe that you are more today than you were yesterday. The journey is absolutely amazing.

So slow down. Take deep breaths. Spend a night with your thoughts and feelings in surround sound. Wear your heart on your sleeve and love others more everyday. Exercise patience with those who love you and those who don't. Don't be afraid to admit when you're wrong. Be peaceful, be compassionate, be kind.

When you feel disappointed, tell someone who cares. When your turned on, hug them tighter than you ever did before - and don't let go. When you're in love, smile from ear to ear and don't ever let anyone take that away from you.

Life is so damn great. KL.

Top 100 Guitar Songs of All-time (Notice #84)

Check out this link:

http://www.rollingstone.com/news/coverstory/20947527/page/2

A Random Playlist of Sweetness

"Come over, early in the morning
Just like a heat wave without warning
And when I touch you my heart begins to flutter
Cause you're smooth and creamy like peanut butter...

I'm gonna flood you like a love river
Ah, baby the postman is about to deliver
I cook you up some dinner, a little pasta
Listen to some music, a little rasta..."
- "Girl I Wanna Lay You Down" ALO

"And in the morning, when I rise
One question, that feels like the sun in my eyes
Am I making the most of this life?

So much trouble and so much strife
And in my guilty hour
Through all of my shame
When all my love is run sour
I have no one else to blame"
- "Make the Most" Brett Dennen

"I will go in this way
And I'll find my own way out
I won't tell you to stay
But I'm coming to much more

Why won't you run in the rain and play?
Let the tears splash all over you..."
- "#41" Dave Matthews Band

"We live in a beautiful world,
Yeah we do, yeah we do"
- "Don't Panic" Coldplay

"No one, no one, no one can get in the way of what I'm feelin
No one, no one, no one can get in the way of what I feel for you..."
- "No One" Alicia Keys

"Why do I beg like a child for your candy?
Why do I come after you like I do?
I love you."
- "Angel" Dave Matthews Band

"I'm not listenin when you say 'Goodbye!'"
- "Semi-Charmed Life" Third Eye Blind

"Don't look down,
Don't feast your eyes on the things that are on the ground
And if it gets hard to focus
When you're traveling at the speed of sound
Feeling nowhere bound
Remember what I told you and
Don't you dare look down..."
- "Don't Look Down" David Ryan Harris

"If you could only see the way she loves me

Then maybe you would understand

Why I feel this way about our love..."

- "If You Could Only See" Tonic

"Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock and sweet you roll
Lost for you, I'm so lost for you
You come crash into me"
- "Crash Into Me" Dave Matthews Band

"Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good"
- "Heart of Life" John Mayer

"May put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful
Do you wanna get married?
Or run away?"
- "Slide" Goo Goo Dolls

"She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed"
-"She Is" The Fray

"And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about
The magic that was you and me
Cause you and I both loved..."
- " You and I Both" Jason Mraz

"Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you"
- "Come Away With Me" Norah Jones

"I never thought I'd walk away from you
I did
It's a full sense of accomplishment
Everytime I quit"
- "Pain" Jimmy Eat World

"It's really over, you made your stand
You got me cryin, as was your plan
But when my lonliness is through
I'm gonna find another you...

See when I was your lover
No one else would do
But if I'm forced to find another
I hope she looks like you
Yeah but she's nicer too...

So go on baby,
Make your little get-away
My pride will keep me company
And you just gave yours all away

Now I'm gonna dress myself for two
Once for me and one for someone new
I'm gonna do some things you wouldn't ever let me do

I'm gonna find another you..."

- "I'm Gonna Find Another You" John Mayer






This is just a taste. KL.

It's Alright...

I feel the sense that we have all been disappointed in one way or another and we all need a little clarity in times of brokenness.

With time comes repair, with distance comes vision. But healing must be intentional, it must be pursued. It is vital to put the past behind us and move forward with our lives: otherwise we give our power to the one who hurt us.

I recently read that there's 121 million people struggling with depression worldwide. Refuse to suffer silently, I urge you to talk about it. Sometimes we can't get over it until we've been heard; so be heard.

Losing someone you love is a process to go through; not a destination in which to wallow. We have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and hold our heads high. Dwelling on the negative isn't progression, it's only slowing us down. We're either getting closer to our destination or further away. We must let go of anything that separates us from the goal.

Learn to trust again, realize that they were only one fish in the entire ocean. Be cautious? Sure. But don't let a bad experience keep you from living life to the fullest. We can either go through life happy or disappointed - but the ball's in our court. We have the choice, the power, the ability to decide how we want to come out from under the ashes.

So the question is very simple: How have you come out of the ashes? Do you need to let go of being bitter? Do you need to let the captive free, all the while realizing the entire time that the captive was you?

KL

...Like A Cranberry/Vodka That Looks Much More Clear Than Red...

The only way to dream again is to wake up,
The only way to be you is to be sincere,
The only way to feel again is to let love in.

Much love to you all. KL.

To Write Love On Her Arms...

If you're not familiar with the title of this post, check out this link. The story is beautiful...

This is when grace and truth collide. KL.

A Morning of Nostalgia

"Four more exits to my apartment

But I'm tempted to keep my car in drive

And leave this all behind..."

KL.

An Equation for Truth

Life - Love = Zero.



The best use of life is love. The best use of love is time. The best time to love is now.

My senior year of college me and my buddies went down to Little Rock (Arkansas' pitiful version of a "city") and we were going to see a band play a show at a local venue. It was a cold, dark night in the middle of January - so cold in fact that we were all layered up. We parked our car a few blocks down from the place and on our way inside, we saw a woman.

With tears streaming down her face, in a Coldplay's "Fix You" sort of way, she approached us begging for money. She had dark circles around her eyes as if she had just been in a bar fight. Her clothes smelled of alcohol, probably vodka, and I could see the tobacco stains underneath her finger nails. She did not smile, she did not introduce. She just cried.

I immediately thought about the woman in Luke 7. A well-known prostitute comes to Jesus begging for His love and after the Pharisees judge her, Jesus looks at Peter and says, "Do you see this woman?" I felt like Jesus was asking me the same question on that cold winter night.

How could we (with any sense of integrity) walk by her and go enjoy our little concert? Think about this. Cover charge: $10. A couple beers: $15. An appetizer: $8. $33 that could go so much further than live music and beer.

What would it look like if we all started making financial decisions that reflected our faith more than our selfishness? Brett Dennen, a reggae musician, says:

"And there's enough wealth for everyone, but some have the most and the most have some. And there's enough food for us all to flourish, tell me why are so many malnourished? You say there's weakness in an empty pocket, no. I'll tell you there's weakness in an empty heart."

So with those lyrics in mind, we walked with her, hand in hand, to buy her a meal and to listen to her story. By the end of the night we served 5 other people who were searching for much more than a burger - we prayed with them and put them in a hotel for a night. This isn't told to boast, this is told to inspire, to evoke, to change. It's about time we stop living for materialism and we start living to give. When you give, you begin to live. When you serve, you begin to see.

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matthew 10:39

Keep following Him, He is the equation for truth. KL.

I Wear A New Cologne

Merely talking about change is inadequate, insufficient, and even at times worthless. That's why I have a hard time getting into politics. When's the last time a politician followed through on a promise? I need you to tell me the truth. I'd rather you tell me the truth and hurt me, than lie to me and let me find out another way.

Don't tell me you'll change if you plan on settling for the way things are. If you say you're changing your smell, start wearing a new cologne. Walk down the path of what you don't know. And now I walk...

Don't be afraid of change, embrace it. Don't walk away from the uncomfortable, access it. There's a big world out there with endless possibility and potential. The core of our spirit is fueled by the things we've never tried. What greater joy than to experience a new passion, a new sunset, a new horizon?

All the blogging has been leading up to this: the biggest change of all. It's time I wear a new cologne.

"I'm a new man

I wear a new cologne

And you wouldn't know me if your eyes were closed

I know what you'll say

This won't last longer than the rest of the day

Baby you're wrong this time

You're wrong."

KL

Just Keep Us Where the Light Is...

A quick note on my agenda these days:

Love the ones that treat you right and walk away from the ones that don't. Hold the ones that embrace you and forget the ones that leave you empty-handed. Cherish the ones that tell you the truth and forget the ones that say your hair looks tight after busting you behind your back. 

No more walking around with a flashlight in the darkness, searching for some kind of remedy. Just keep us where the light is...

When your hurt, remove the plastic smile. When someone serves you, show them you appreciate them. Let the woman at Target go ahead of you. When someone blows a kiss your way, let them know they put the color inside your world.

Be who you are, regardless.

Sometimes people will hurt you, they'll desert you, they'll take your soul if you let them...But don't you let them.

Always remember to give grace because we all need a little love.

Just keep us where the light is. KL.   

Ohhh That's Why I Do That...

Here's a link for the Myers-Briggs personality test. If you haven't tried it, it only takes 5 minutes. It will also shed some light on why we are the way we are and its funny to guess what other people are.

God bless and bless God. KL.

In Repair

"And now I'm walking in the park
And all of the birds they dance below me

Maybe when things turn green again

It will be good to say you know me."

-jm

I'm not together but I'm getting there. KL.

Seriously?

Much love to you all. KL.

Closing the Map

I wonder how many times I've been asked, "So what's your plan for your life?"

This question implies the idea that we have to have a plan, a focus, an idea of where we're going. however, making plans for the future isn't the problem - it's when the plan becomes the focus and the destination is lost. we get so hung up on forcing "our way" of arrival and we forget that perhaps there's more than one way to cross the country, more than one way to find happiness, more than one way to become who we are.

How about we lean less on the plan and more on this plan: plan to be surprised.

There is a structure to no structure, a plan to no plan, a direction to no direction. But there's also flexibility, independence, free-will, spontaneity, and liberation.

How beautiful is the feeling of freedom? How wonderful the sight of closing the map? How exhilarating to rely on instinct?

Sometimes our plans fall apart and we need to be prepared. People break promises, they walk away when we least expect it. But maybe we just need to learn to broaden our horizons. We make plans that we think are so right but in reality, are so wrong. They slowly begin to collapse and we need to have the sensibility to change our direction to something with more stability.

Plan B has become far more significant, beneficial, and exciting. But here's the point: Don't rely on plan B either. Just plan to be surprised.

Using the compass instead of the itinerary. KL.

Before Bed

Before I continue reading "Into the Wild," and eventually go to bed, I need to share this:

At first glance we all try to come across as having our shit together - our dreams, our goals, our careers, our relationships, our lives. But the more we are willing to be authentic, the more we see that we have all gone through seasons (plural for a reason) of disappointment, self-doubt, confusion, insecurity, self-consciousness and maybe even depression. And that's okay, just keep me where the light is...

KL