More Thankful

For dreamers, for sentimentals, for lovers, Christmas has all the right ingredients. Colorful lights paint the beautiful winter sky. Hours are spent searching for the perfect gift - for the friend, the lover, the brother. The seasonal music fills our souls with optimism, beauty, and holiday cheer. Cookies, egg nog, and wine top it all off to make Christmas a very romantic time of year.

This year, Christmas took on a whole new meaning for me. I must admit that the first question I ask after Christmas is "Did you get everything you wanted this year?" To me Christmas has always been synonymous with receiving gifts. But this year was different, this year was special.

This year (whether consciously, or not) I decided to spend less money on gifts and engage more in conversation - and not because of frugality, but because I wanted to be reminded what Christmas is really about. I was surprised how refreshing it felt to focus less on the new stuff, and more on simply being with family and friends.

With the economy in shambles, job opportunities at a minimum, and prices slowly increasing - I wonder if the "economy" issue our country is facing could actually be good for us. Yes, you read that right. I believe there are some positive effects from our country being in a recession right now.

People are re-considering driving 2 cars when they can car pool. People are carrying reusable water bottles (http://mysigg.com/index.asp) rather than wasting plastics. People are more grateful for the things they've been given because they know how tough times are.

I challenge you to try what we did this year: spend less, but give more.


KL.

Love

I'm so encouraged by the amount of people who are willing to give, serve, and love during this holiday season. It's just been fantastic to see people from all walks of life living out the ways of Jesus - whether they know it or not.

May we never forget what Christmas was originally all about.

Happy holidays to all of you - keep up the love. KL.

I Don't Know, What I Don't Know

Most of us go through this phase - this phase of fearlessness, invinsibility, and even borderline ignorance. It's part of being a boy (on the inside) and being a man (on the outside). It's part of sometimes acting like I'm 21 and othertimes acting like I'm 26. I'm learning the difference is simple: patience.

I'm turning 24 this New Year's Eve and it's really exciting. The other night around the dinner table, my mom asked me, "Are you happy with where you are at 24 years old?" Great question mom. Part of me is content with today, the majority of me wants so much more for tomorrow. I know I can't wait for what 2009 holds in store.

Lately I've been walking through this stage of not knowing what I don't know, let me explain:

I can make it on my own, I can finish grad school, I can complete a triathlon, I can do doughnuts in the snow and still be in control, I can do whatever the hell I want - mixed with some sass.

Or can I?

I'm learning that the 20's are all about figuring out who you are and who your friends are. Most people think it's all about finding your career and perhaps that's part of it. But I think it's more about the discovery of self.

I'm learning to embrace the fact that I don't know what I don't know - and that there's positivism that comes with that (persistence) and negativity that comes with that (arrogance).

It's all about pursuing balance. Take care of one another,

KL.

Movement

We often associate movement with change, which actually makes perfect sense.

If you've never seen the view of the Grand Canyon (assuming you want to), it won't happen unless you pursue movement - unless you book a flight, a hotel, and a rental car. You've got to get time off from work, be at the airport on time, and get from the airport to the Canyon, which requires a lot of movement.

I've been pursuing that "view" for quite some time now and I'm seeing that movement doesn't necesarily mean it has to be external. Perhaps my movement has more to do with my building passion that makes me want to see the beauty of the Grand Canyon - before I'm actually able to experience literal movment.

Let's get practical:

I've been trying to get a new job, apply to grad school, and find solid friends for a while now. I've sent my college transcript to more places than I can even remember. I've spent countless hours online looking at schools, programs, jobs, etc. I've been pursuing the "view" of some kind of movment. My world still looks very similar to my world a year ago - but it's completely different, internally.

My heart is focused, my drive is stronger, my love is deeper.

This is movement, this is change, for the time being. KL.

Stay Hungry

This is about making the choice to be a warrior, a fighter, a competitor.

This is about the relentless pursuit of running a faster pace tomorrow than you ran today (but also accepting the feeling that you gave everything you had today).

This is about refusing to settle.

This is about staying hungry.



I'm not satisfied with where I'm at, although I accept who I am (liabilities and all) - I want so much more.

I want to become more, I want to learn more, I want to be more.

When faced with a decision, I've been living by these 2 simple questions. I ask myself these questions before I decide to do something:
1) Is it beneficial, optimistic, or productive?
2) Is it investing in myself or my future?

Try it, ask yourself those questions before you do something. Clarity has been more accessible since and I'm loving who I am more and more everyday.

Stay hungry, work hard for what you want, eat your fruits and veggies, hug each other, and most importantly, don't ever give up.

I'm ready for a five course meal. I'm competing to win. KL.

In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning...

"In the wee small hours of the morning
While the whole wide world is fast asleep
You lie awake and think about the girl
And never ever think of counting sheep

When your lonely heart has learned its lesson
You'd be hers, if only she would call
In the wee small hours of the morning
That's the time you miss her most of all"

-Frank Sinatra

For some reason I can't get these lyrics out of my heart...

KL.

After Hours

As I'm training for my triathlon, I'm learning a lot about myself. It's been quite interesting to see progression in my times, my motivation, and my excitement as I finish with more contentment than ever. There's something about long distance training that tests your perseverance like nothing else.

I'm learning that behind the glory of finishing something difficult in life, there are hours of hard work and sweat when no one is watching. There are late nights of fighting for something you believe in, when everyone else has gone to bed. And it's in those times where character is made - when most people grab a water, I approach the hill with a smile because (like Kanye said) I'm better than I've ever been.

Last night I was riding the bike and decided that I was going to ride for 30 minutes at a fast pace. I always have a goal in mind before I ever run, bike, or swim - ya gotta know where you're going before you can get there. My goal was to keep a pace of riding 1 mile every 3 minutes. After 10 minutes, my legs started to burn and I thought about slowing the pace. Immediately, I put that thought out of my mind and went faster.

I pushed through the next few minutes and was 15 seconds behind keeping my pace of a mile every 3 minutes. I looked at my watch and saw I was coming up on 27 minutes, which meant I really had to push to reach my goal of 10 miles in 30 minutes.

And the last 3 minutes was all up hill - how fitting, I thought to myself.

I gripped the bars, put my head down, closed my eyes, and put everything out of my mind. I didn't even give myself a chance to think about times - I pushed my legs into the pedals as hard as I could. As I got closer to 30 minutes, I knew I had to give it everything I had. My legs were burning, my heart rate was at 180, and I felt amazing. With 20 seconds left, I had a tenth of a mile to go and just before 30 minutes passed, I hit 10 miles.

Insert amazing feeling here.

Work hard for what you want and you'll see what I mean.

KL

Outside Ourselves

Balancing the Christmas act is really difficult. People seem to be much more stressed around this time of year. Walk into any mall and you'll see what I mean. Everyone wants the perfect gift, with the perfect size, and the perfect price. Black Friday has come and gone - showing us just how crazy things are during this season.

A man in New York died unlocking the doors at Wal-Mart because people were more concerned about saving a few bucks than they were about the safety and well being of another individual. Two others were shot at Toys R Us over which toy they wanted to buy. This reminds me of some of the issues middle school teachers deal with.

If you mix common sense and rationale, you'll easily see how crazy (and by crazy, I literally mean "insane") some people are in our society. I'd like to think those 2,000 people who trampled over this man didn't realize he was in serious danger. I don't think it's that people are completely apathetic - I think it's that we are often so selfish that we only see what's in it for us. So many people are willing to do almost anything just to get 20% off.

There's no point of judging the reader because neither you nor I had anything to do with any of these situations. But during this season, that was intended to be one of joy, peace, and love, let us remember to slow down and think about others before ourselves. Let us realize that we have been blessed beyond what we deserve and that we can have the privilege of giving back. Let us all think outside ourselves during this Christmas season.

By the way, if you haven't heard her, check out Clara Lofaro. She's beautiful. KL.

808's & Heartbreak

Don't tell me you'll never leave if you've already booked the flight.

Don't tell me you want me to hold you when you don't smell like me.

If you don't want me, don't feed me that "I need you" stuff, I'm a sucker for that.

Check out 808's and Heartbreak - I've been waiting for an album like this.

KL.

June 28, 2009

I've been thinking a lot about this date because it's the annual Philadelphia Triathlon and I'm competing in it for the first time. I've been training for about a month now and feeling stronger each day.

It was cold this past Saturday, like frigid cold. The kind of cold that seeps into your skin and tests your determination like nothing else. I drove past a bank on my way and it said it was 26 degrees outside.

As I began my run, I knew I needed to block out the pain because I knew it would subside at some point. And sure enough, 15 minutes into my run, I felt like I was running on the beach with my bathing suit on. I ran 6.5 miles at a 6:45 pace.

Here's my question- when I run in the gym (with a water bottle, shorts, t-shirt, and a warm facility), I usually run at a 7:15 pace. So how was I able to slice 30 seconds off each mile, 2 minutes and 10 seconds overall (with a sweatshirt, long pants, and running directly into the wind)?

I'm just focused on getting stronger. KL.

Get Back on the Bike

Heroes come in many different forms, functions, and relationships. I've actually never claimed one "hero" in my life, mainly because it sounds so cliche. It sounds so melo-dramatic. But after reading "It's Not About the Bike" by Lance Armstrong, I decided he is one of my heroes.

Reading this book taught me that "fighting" isn't always about flexing the largest financial muscles or accumulating the most "wins" in life - sometimes fighting is about the resilient voice at the end of the day that says, "I will try again tomorrow."

When you think about Lance Armstrong, what's the first image that comes to mind? For most people, it's him wearing the beloved "yellow jersey" (the one that the leader of the race wears) raising his hands in victory, kissing his mom or his wife, with a huge smile on his face.

But if you read his book, you'll see that for every victory, there were 7 setbacks. For every triumph, there were more obstacles. He paints a picture, not of a man wearing the yellow jersey, but of a man stuck in a bed with chemo running through his system - just to stay alive.

He paints a picture of a man who refused to quit, no matter what the "odds" were. He paints a picture of a man who fell off his bike, time after time, but always got back on. He paints a picture of a man who I'm striving to be.

I've been brokenhearted, I've fallen off the bike (a couple times actually), and I've been tempted to quit. I've been tempted to lay on the ground and bitch about my situation. There's probably always going to be that voice in the back of my mind that says, "But what if you can't do it?"

Lance heard that voice too, but refused to listen.

And so do I.

When I was in college, I led a mission trip to Boston. Our goal was to serve the homeless, the orphans, and the widows in the local area for one week. I made a commitment to teach, lead, and organize a group of 15 people.

A girl I was dating at the time was also on the trip. Things got really hectic in our relationship and I told her I needed space to be able to fully dedicate myself to leading the group. We were obviously both upset. She called her dad that night and he flew her home the next morning - and paid for her ticket.

I called my mom. "Mom, I want to come home."

And I will never forget what she said.

"Son, you're not going anywhere. You're staying in Boston and you're going to lead the group because you made a commitment. You're not going to quit. I didn't raise you to give up."

And that's exactly what I did. I got back on the bike.

So here I am, 3 years later, frustrated as hell with where I am in life, but also, more optimistic than I've ever been because I know what I've done in the past when I've fallen off the bike.

Thank you mom, for making me stay in Boston, for making me get back on the bike. KL.

Give Out an "A"

In a world full of assessments, judgements, and measurements sometimes we need to be reminded to see the possibility in people before we measure them up against our standards.

Imagine if you were taking a class that you felt insecure about. For me, it would certainly be science. You already know this course isn't your bread and butter. You sit down on the first day of class, the teacher walks in, and says, "Good morning class - I have an announcement to make. Each of you will receive an "A" for this class as long as you follow 2 rules: be on time and take diligent notes each class."

Rather than being nervous about being measured to the other students, I'd feel an immediate desire to want to do those two simple things: be on time and pay attention. Rather than worrying about seeing that red "F" on my first test, I would be solely focused on paying attention and learning new information.

So here's my idea:

In an effort to be less judgemental and more approachable, I'm going to look at people and give them an "A" rather than waiting for them to screw up and give them a "C" or perhaps even a "D".

It's just a thought - let's realize we're all on a journey, and we may not be together...

But we're getting there. KL.

Worst Best Man

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hM0n3H4eN-0

This video is definitely worth the 44 seconds. KL.

Real Quick

Nothing feels better than being completely honest with yourself.

That's all for now, KL.

Like A Flask Filled With...Hope.

If you've never heard of Brett Dennen, and if you have $9.99 to spare, go out and purchase his new album called "Hope for the Hopeless." His lyrics are fresh, innovative, and authentic. Even if folk music doesn't "make you go crazy" you just might enjoy the positivism in his message. Check it out.

http://brettdennen.net/

Take care of each other. KL.

Flip It

We can all agree that our country is going through a challenging time. Everyone is talking about it, which is ideal because conversations (hopefully) lead to action, which then (inevitably) leads to change. And we can also all agree that change is necessary - especially now.

Last weekend I was having a conversation about the state of America and my buddy said he thinks the next president is walking into one of the worst times our country has ever seen. Although there's a grain of truth here, I'd like to flip the negative into a positive:

I think the next president has the opportunity to be remembered as the leader who walked us out of the desert - who creates more jobs, who helps stabilize our economy, who helps make our world a more positive place. He has the chance to go down as the man who spurred us back toward greatness.

The intention here isn't political. It goes much deeper than that. Let's flip all the negatives in our experiences and discover the positives. Seeing the negative is natural, seeing the positive isn't.

Let's flip it. KL.

Daughters

After having lunch with a great friend, I realized how important it is to be good to your daughters - and to tell them that they put the color inside your world. She always makes me smile, no matter what we're talking about - and I really care about our friendship.

Here's the point of this short post:

When someone makes you happier than a 6 year old on Christmas morning, be sure they know. When you have a friend that you would do anything for, be sure to make every effort to show it. Be good to each other, think about others before yourself.

That's all for now. KL.

So High - for all the Right Reasons

I love this feeling, of being high.

Now before you assume, hear me out. There's more than one road that can get you "high". After trying almost every approach to living, I've found what doesn't work, still in search for what does. Sometimes you have to go around the block a few times, get frustrated enough, and keep pushing forward (never losing the optimism and the progression) to be able to see and feel which approach is best.

Here's a few approaches I've tried:

-Buying cool new stuff. Only satisfies until the newer, faster, cooler version comes out, which will inevitably be in a couple weeks/months.
-Drinking and other. Doesn't work.
-Selfishness. Really doesn't work.

It's essential to invest in yourself, to take time and discover who you are - and I've spent the last year and a half doing just that. I feel renewed and refueled to be able to reciprocate and give back. I've been thinking about my weekly rhythms and the habits I've developed. I'm not what you would consider a "structured" person. I'm very spontaneous, sometimes unorganized and irresponsible, mostly easy-going with a smile in my heart.

But now I'm reclaiming rhythm in my life.

Yesterday I ran at Peace Valley Park without knowing how far or how long I would run - I just knew I wasn't going to stop, no matter what. Currently I can run 2-3 miles and feel good about the workout, but usually around mile 3, I'm ready for the couch and some Propel - Strawberry Kiwi please.

Today I found out that the trail is 7.2 miles. That's more than double what I usually can run - and it felt like 3 miles after I finished. It really made me wonder about the limitations I subconsciously set in my mind. I wonder what it would look like if I stopped setting limits in my mind and just gave my heart holistically.

When you set a personal goal, and not only reach your goal, but exceed it, you get really high. When you push yourself to your limits and you know that you gave it (whatever the "it" is) everything you had, you'll sleep better, feel better, and love who you are.

Things have really just been going my way lately, so I'm gonna embrace the high as long as I can. KL.

One Word Can Change the World

There is so much to say and sometimes it's all about consolidation, so here's my effort at telling her story.

She used to wear a smile all day long, everything was warm, even the rain felt pleasant. He brought warmth into her heart and she trusted him deeply. But his hands that were once comforting somehow became cold, his smile that was once welcoming somehow became angry. Things changed quite abruptly and she didn't understand why.

She refused to trust, she slept with one eye open - waiting for someone to abandon her again. She thought it was her fault. She felt guilty, ashamed, and lonely.

Years later, she woke to this wonderful realization that life is only as beautiful as she wanted it to be. She found a love in Him that would never let her down, a love that she could actually trust, a love that she welcomed into her heart. She realized that He died on the cross so all injustice might be abolished, so all peace might be rescued, so all trust might be restored.

She realized that there was only one word that could set her free:

LOVE.

She found a way to change the insecure into confident, the awkward into accessible, the guard into an open door. And she discovered it was a beautiful way to live.

Jesus, thank you for loving everyone equally. Thank you for giving your life so we might have peace. Thank you for not throwing the stone. Thank you for running to us.

Thank you for your consistent LOVE.

KL

When You Get to the Finish Line, You've Got to Finish

I'm making a bold prediction:

The Phillies will be the World Series Champions in 2008.

After listening to some Journey, I was reminded...

"Don't stop believin"

So hold on baseball fans, here comes the Fightin Phils.